Monday, July 21, 2014

Following the White Rabbit

It becomes apparent in everyone’s life that they have to make a decision what they want to do or be when they grow up.  Honestly, for me it wasn’t an easy decision and to this day, I didn’t choose my profession.  It chose me. 

I still remember the first weekend I spent in Los Angeles.  My parents drove with me and spent the few days we had unpacking and doing the best we could to make my apartment in Koreatown as cozy as possible.  Those few days flew by and before I knew it, we were heading to the airport.  They were flying back to Texas and I was flying to Las Vegas to see a friend for her birthday.  Back home, all of the airport terminals were connected so it was no big deal to rush my parents in to their terminal so I could get to mine, check in and meet them on the other side for lunch before saying goodbye.  Except that I wouldn’t get to. 

I had never been so far away from my parents as I was about to be in all my life and the reality of it crushed me.  Believe me when I say that I sat on the floor of the airport with my head in my hands, tears streaming around me.  I truly was in that moment, Alice crying at the door. 

I guess you would be justified in calling me dramatic.  Guilty.  But I can’t change who I am.  And when I say I’m dramatic, I don’t mean I’m a drama queen and I create drama.  I mean that I feel with emotions so strong and deep, that it takes my breath away when others would carry on.  I remember once when I was younger trying to explain to my Dad what it was like being able to cry on cue.  I’m not really sure to this day if I truly could explain it other than I can feel deeply and do feel deeply about everything. 
So when I say acting chose me, it’s like there was no logical alternative for me.  And I love it.  The more and more I follow the white rabbit of a success in LA, the more excited and curious I become about this never ending wonderland that unfolds around me!  The possibilities to create and collaborate are endless and constantly emerging.  All you have to do is want it and work for it.

But the problem comes when everyone in the “real world” looks into this wonderland.  What they see is very different from those of us that followed the white rabbit.  We see a chance to reach people on a bigger scale, to make things that touch people in a way that nothing else can, to leave an impression on people that will last a lifetime!  What everyone else sees is a land of waste and fairytales.  They don’t see performers and artists doing everything they can to make their businesses successful, they see people wasting their lives, bumming and hoping someone else will like them and make them famous.

  I guess I don’t really know where I wanted to go with all this other than to really define myself.  I love what I do and I’m working hard to make sure I get to do it more often.  So, with that being said, I have to go.  I’m still looking for the white rabbit…

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