It becomes apparent in everyone’s life that they have to
make a decision what they want to do or be when they grow up. Honestly, for me it wasn’t an easy decision
and to this day, I didn’t choose my profession.
It chose me.
I still remember the first weekend I spent in Los
Angeles. My parents drove with me and
spent the few days we had unpacking and doing the best we could to make my
apartment in Koreatown as cozy as possible.
Those few days flew by and before I knew it, we were heading to the
airport. They were flying back to Texas
and I was flying to Las Vegas to see a friend for her birthday. Back home, all of the airport terminals were
connected so it was no big deal to rush my parents in to their terminal so I
could get to mine, check in and meet them on the other side for lunch before
saying goodbye. Except that I wouldn’t
get to.
I had never been so far away from my parents as I was about
to be in all my life and the reality of it crushed me. Believe me when I say that I sat on the floor
of the airport with my head in my hands, tears streaming around me. I truly was in that moment, Alice crying at
the door.
I guess you would be justified in calling me dramatic. Guilty.
But I can’t change who I am. And when
I say I’m dramatic, I don’t mean I’m a drama queen and I create drama. I mean that I feel with emotions so strong
and deep, that it takes my breath away when others would carry on. I remember once when I was younger trying to
explain to my Dad what it was like being able to cry on cue. I’m not really sure to this day if I truly
could explain it other than I can feel deeply and do feel deeply about
everything.
So when I say acting chose me, it’s like there was no
logical alternative for me. And I love
it. The more and more I follow the white
rabbit of a success in LA, the more excited and curious I become about this
never ending wonderland that unfolds around me!
The possibilities to create and collaborate are endless and constantly
emerging. All you have to do is want it
and work for it.
But the problem comes when everyone in the “real world”
looks into this wonderland. What they
see is very different from those of us that followed the white rabbit. We see a chance to reach people on a bigger
scale, to make things that touch people in a way that nothing else can, to
leave an impression on people that will last a lifetime! What everyone else sees is a land of waste
and fairytales. They don’t see
performers and artists doing everything they can to make their businesses
successful, they see people wasting their lives, bumming and hoping someone
else will like them and make them famous.
I guess I don’t really know where I wanted to
go with all this other than to really define myself. I love what I do and I’m working hard to make
sure I get to do it more often. So, with
that being said, I have to go. I’m still
looking for the white rabbit…
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