I mean I do because I cry…
A LOT! I just always have. The funny thing is though, for me crying is a
way for me to purge. Little stresses and
worries build up and once a month, lately once a week or even a day, I just
cry! I cry to the point where I’m honestly
surprised I’m not suffering from dehydration sometimes. It’s not that I’m crying because I’m scared
or I’m sad, I just have to get everything out of my system! And afterwards, I feel so refreshed and new
and ready to get back to being productive!
Yes I’m sure there are
more appropriate ways of dealing with stress but for me, crying just
works. Although I’m pretty sure my
managers at work think there is something seriously wrong with me…oh well. I’m embracing me for me, right? If after this many years I haven’t learned to
let it go, I don’t know if I ever will.
Plus, let’s be honest, I’m just a dramatic person so there you go. Anywhere else in this world, people would
have me committed but here they just shake their heads and say “she’s an
actress.” J
Now sometimes I do lose
focus and feel a little lost and those tears definitely come from a different
place. Those tears usually happen on
Sunday mornings…and boy did they ever flow this morning! Today was one of those God smack days where
He reminds you that He’s in control and everything is taken care of. It was like I was being held and reminded
that I am safe. And I felt so
ashamed! I was ashamed that I could have
the fears and the worries that I have because I have always been taken care of
before. Why should I now fear that
things would be different? Like I didn’t
trust in Him and it broke my heart that I could be so doubtful of His plan for
me. So yep, I cried, no bawled this
morning.
So I guess for those of
you who have dealt with my outbursts this week, because there were a lot of
them, thank you…and I’m sorry. I’ll try
to control the river from my eyes but it’s unlikely. Maybe I just need to start putting myself on
a cry schedule! Then it won’t interfere
with the rest of my life and freak so many people out. I guess I do have to maintain some level of professionalism
around others! Until then, I’ll continue
being Alice because we know she cried over eeeeeeeeverything! And I love her! So go cry it out people because its ok!
Love,
Kimberly
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