"You used to be much more... muchier. You've lost your muchness."

This just about sums it all up.  I've lost my muchness and I have to get it back!

I took a week off from this blog for the New Year because the New Year for me is always my most down time.  I just don't like New Year's.  For me it's always been a time of looking back and focusing on what went wrong or didn't happen in the past and being so sure that the next year will be different.  Idk, for me it's always felt like fake optimism.  

And I don't mean to discredit anyone that loves the New Year and genuinely feels like it brings hope and change.  For some people it does but for me it really is just another day.  But this year, I'm making the New Year something different.  This year I'm making this year the year I get my muchness back.

This year I am changing my outlook on everything.  Lately this industry has torn me down and really made me question what I'm doing to the point where I've let a lot of negative voices control my thoughts and actions.  This has caused me to be unhappy and really bitter, ultimately taking away all of the joy I have in doing what I do.  So I'm choosing, because I can do that, to no longer allow these negative voices in my head.  

The funny thing is, I didn't move to LA to get famous.  I moved here to make my career a reality and work as an actress.  But there's a misconception that if you aren't making big budget films or getting paid a ton of money then you're not really an actor/actress.  I'm an actress because I act.  I get the chance this year to do some really great things and create web series, shorts and films with my friends!  Not because I'm going to get a lot of money for doing them but because that's what I came out here to do!  And I'm doing it!

Just putting it in writing is giving me chills because I have so missed my muchness!  I can't wait to really get this year going and change everything that I've let become of me over the past couple of years.  It's really exciting to know that change is going to happen for the better.  I don't know how it will all turn out but I'm sure it's going to be fun!  Until next week...Happy New Year!

Go get your muchness back too!