"...she looked back once or twice, half hoping that they would call after her."

I love this part of the story where Alice leaves the Mad Tea Party.  Actually I love most of the Mad Tea Party because it's such a great example of how people misunderstand each other because of different ways of thinking.  As Alice gets frustrated and stomps out of the party, she looks back.  She looks back because she wants them to call her back to the party.  She wants to be missed before she is even gone.  

It's funny how much this quote touches me because I've had to leave many things and people in the past but I've tended to look back hoping that I am missed.  Even when the situation or the person is unhealthy for me and I know I'm better off, I'm still Alice looking back hoping that I am too important to let go.

That being said, I have left that life behind me.  I think it comes from being an entertainer that you always need to feel wanted or needed.  But it's also a sign of immaturity.  It took me a long time to be at peace with me and to let go of the people and the places that are not good fits.  As they say, more appropriately with people, you have to move on from someone without expecting it to change their mind, otherwise you're not moving on.  You're pretending to move on but looking back the entire time, making yourself worse off than before.  That's a hard pill to swallow.

The Mad Tea Party has always been one of my favorite parts of Alice in Wonderland because it reminds me to be more open minded.  How fun and crazy are the Hatter and the Hare?  But because they are so different, Alice gets frustrated and leaves.  But I think a part of her knows that although they are fun, they are not helping her get where she needs to be.  Woah, I just had an epiphany as I typed that!  How hard is it to really leave people that we love and adore when they are holding us back from where we are going?  Maybe not even intentionally but with them we stay in a stagnant place with a false happiness.  I for one want to take everyone with me on my journey through Wonderland but I know I can't.  Sometimes it's so hard to decipher who belongs and who you have to leave behind.  When you're such a loving person, it's hard to justify removing someone from your life.  You have so much love to give to everyone whether they want it or not.  But ultimately, if they don't return it, you're draining yourself to make someone else happy.  

Anywhoooooo, I think I'll end on that note because this could get deeper than I'm willing to go right now in a blog :p  But I'll leave today by saying, it's acceptable to leave the places that are keeping you from where you need to be.  But leave knowing that you will be better off, not because you hope that you will leave an impression and change where you have been.  Never look back because you'll miss what's ahead of you.

Love you,
Kimberly