If everybody minded their own business, the world would go around a great deal faster than it does.

I've been hesitant to use this quote because it seems kind of rude but the past two weeks have proven it to be perfect.  A lot of people I know have been so concerned with people or events that have no affect at all on their lives, yet they are emotionally affected by them.  Why?

Why would you let the actions or the laws of a state or country far away from you, that have no affect on your life at all, put you in a bad mood?  Why is it so important that your negative opinion be known when someone in a city far from your own did something that you don't like.  Seriously, that person is not concerned with you, why be concerned with them?

It's interesting to me, how as a society we are so concerned with everyone else.  And I'm not talking about international affairs, I'm talking about letting the actions of one person you don't even know affect you emotionally.  I mean have you seen social media the past two weeks?  Heaven forbid you disagree with anything anyone posted.  A lot of the posts begin with "Unfriend me if you disagree" which I'm sorry makes you just as much of a bigot because you're throwing your own opinion in everyone else's face without allowing them to have a conversation with you.  Why post anything if you don't want people to respond?  The thing I love about the people I'm close to is that we don't all think the same but we agree on what matters.  We all love each other and have respect for each others' opinions.    

I haven't posted a lot about recent events on my social media because my thoughts and opinions are not important.  None of the recent events affect me or my life personally and I choose to not open myself to unwanted hate from people who don't know me.  People are ugly, hateful and rude on all sides of the debates.  It's sad.  It's sad that people will ruin friendships and relationships because they think differently than someone else.  Why are we so immature that a healthy debate severs ties instead of broadening our own thinking like it's supposed to?  Why are we so dramatic? 

I guess it's interesting to me because I am in the entertainment industry.  As an actress, the goal is to continue working.  You continue working by being in the public eye.  Once people stop caring about you, you're irrelevant and the struggle to be seen starts all over again.  Actors really have no lives separate from their jobs because people always want to see them.  So we have to make sure that you always see us the way we want you to see us.  So in that sense, I really don't get to have an opinion about anything.  Because one day, when I'm on my own show someone will look back at my Facebook from 2015 and say that I said "..." about "..." and my career is over.  Not really but I could lose a lot of my future fans by what I post now.  It's crazy but it's true.  Wouldn't it be nice if we could all just be ourselves and love each other for who we are?  Wouldn't it be great if we were more concerned with our own lives progressing instead of constantly worrying about what someone else is doing?  I think we'd all be a lot happier and the world WOULD go around a great deal faster than it does.  

Just a thought.
Love,
Kimberly

"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice. "You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here."

It's always funny talking to other people about LA.  Everyone has a very specific opinion about this city whether they've been here or not.  Most people assume that LA is full of spoiled brat, rich people or failed actors.  Bottom line, you'd have to be crazy to live here and mad to love it!  

I guess I should put it out there that I am mad.  I think LA is a wonderful place.  It has its ups and downs just like every city but there are so many opportunities here!  So many avenues to create and collaborate with brilliant people everywhere you go!  There are so many creative people in this town and we can let our creativity run free without feeling out of place.  Themed parties, networking cocktails and collaborative hangouts are a part of my daily life!

Most misconceptions of LALA Land come from what everyone sees on TV or in the tabloids, etc.  People forget that the main industry in LA is entertainment so everything you're fed about this city is anything that will make money.  Failed marriages, gossip, "Real Housewives" garbage that those of us who live here honestly ignore.  Who is Taylor Swift dating?  I have no idea because I'm working 20 hours a day to make my own stuff happen.

We're "lost" because our daily schedules include working out, yoga and very strict diets.   It has nothing to do with the fact that maybe we'd like to live longer, a few extra pounds makes a huge difference on camera and doing yoga keeps your muscles healthy and your mood stable?  The truth is, LA does have a lot of lost people but it has a lot of driven, motivated people that I am thankful to be around.  I'm challenged here and surrounded by people that not only push me to do more, they also hold me up if I fall.  

So yeah, we're mad because our lives move fast out here and we're all career driven but it's all for the sake of entertainment.  God gave me a passion to entertain and I'm going to do it no matter what.  So just remember that everything you see about LA is entertaining you.  Whether it makes you happy, sad, angry, or confused, your emotions have been manipulated to make you crave more.  It's what we do and it's why you can't get enough.

To be continued...

Kimberly      

"Either it brings tears to their eyes or else..."

"Or else what?" said Alice for the Knight had made a sudden pause.
"Or else it doesn't, you know."

Just a warning, I'm going to get super actory in this entry!  I could go a lot of different routes with this quote but I'm going to write today about my acting class yesterday.

So, as an actress I get misunderstood a lot.  Not so much misunderstood in the literal sense of what I say but misunderstood in how I operate.  I am an extremely emotional being.  My emotions remain at a peaked level so that I can easily access them.  I've actually always been this way but I've learned to harness my emotions and keep them just under the surface so that they are there when I need them.  The problem, well it's not a problem for me, for others is that I am an open book.  And for the first time yesterday in class, we discussed how important it is to be this open.

I'm not saying that every actor or actress has to tell everything about themselves or communicate as much as I do, but for me it helps to have nothing weighing on my thoughts.  So the scene we did yesterday was from a new film and it was heavily emotional.  In four pages I went from anger to extreme sadness to happy then back to sad.  It was glorious!  Seriously, I live for these kinds of scenes because they are a workout.  My emotions are like muscles for me and I need to exercise them regularly.  Where I falter is breaking out of the emotions as quickly as I can get in them.  Sometimes casting will ask you to do something over again and if I have to jump out of sad to anger cleanly, well let's just say yesterday I couldn't.

It's interesting to see how other actors operate because one of the girls was worried about going to such an emotional place without hurting her psyche.  I wondered how I would explain to someone how I get there without affecting myself but I honestly don't know.  I guess it's just one of those things that comes so naturally to me.  Maybe I just stopped fighting my emotions so long ago that now they are free flowing all the time.  HA!  I'm like the Hulk only with tears.  My secret is, I'm always crying.  Not really but oh, that just made me so happy.

I guess my point is that everyone responds to emotions differently and there is no right or wrong way.  Either it brings tears to your eyes, or else it doesn't.  That's just how you handle them.  But the great thing about working with other actors is that you can see someone handle a situation with tears and it's beautiful and you can see someone handle the very same situation without tears but still with the same level of emotion and it's is just as interesting.  There really is no correct way when it comes to acting and all of these discoveries yesterday just filled me with a new freedom.

So now I have a new assignment.  I have to find my trigger out or my off switch if you will.  Something that can easily pull me out of my emotional state because ultimately, I am still acting.  I also get to now study emotions without tears.  YEAH!  I want to understand being just as emotional without tears flowing because how powerful could that be?!  Such is the life of an actress :)

Thanks for reading!
Love ya!
Kimberly

The best gift you could have given her was a lifetime of adventures...

So today is my birthday!  I'm so full of love and joy right now and not just because of all of the messages I've been getting from everyone but because I am living a truly blessed life.  I'm so grateful for everyone that has supported me and is helping me move forward to make my dreams come true.  You all are truly giving me the best gift ever in reminding me everyday that I can do anything.  There are so many adventures still to come but I'm so happy for the ones I've already had!  So many lessons have been learned and experiences that I never would have imagined I'd have 15 years ago!  

It's so funny because when I was growing up and all through high school, I never would have imagined that I'd be where I am now.  But the one nice thing about being born in May is that makes me a Taurus.  And no, I don't believe that my future is controlled by the stars but I will say that I fit the Taurus breakdown perfectly!  I am persistent, loving, passionate...oh so passionate!  If you tell me I can't do something, congratulations you have just set out a challenge for me to prove you wrong...and I will.  I actually look for challenges because I love to prove people wrong when it comes to their perception of me.  I'm persistent, I don't back down.  :)

But I have also grown to love adventures.  As a Taurus, I hate change.  I like having a plan and making plans.  Even my best friends will tell you that I plan out everything and if something in my plan has to change, I am upset until I can devise a new plan to allow for the change.  But I'm growing to allow for changes and somewhat learning to embrace them.  Because without changes and adventures, I can't grow.  I can't be the force I was born to be.  

One of my favorite quotes is from John Newton:

"I am not what I ought to be.  I am not what I want to be.  I am not what I hope to be.  But still, I am not what I used to be.  And by the grace of God, I am what I am."

I love it because it reminds me to shake off the past and keep working towards the future I was meant to have.  

So thank you for giving me the opportunity to have such an amazing life!  I'm so thankful for all of your continued love and support!  I can't wait to create amazing works for you and I hope you'll be proud of them.  

Here's to so many more brilliant adventures!

Cheers,

Kimberly 

"...she looked back once or twice, half hoping that they would call after her."

I love this part of the story where Alice leaves the Mad Tea Party.  Actually I love most of the Mad Tea Party because it's such a great example of how people misunderstand each other because of different ways of thinking.  As Alice gets frustrated and stomps out of the party, she looks back.  She looks back because she wants them to call her back to the party.  She wants to be missed before she is even gone.  

It's funny how much this quote touches me because I've had to leave many things and people in the past but I've tended to look back hoping that I am missed.  Even when the situation or the person is unhealthy for me and I know I'm better off, I'm still Alice looking back hoping that I am too important to let go.

That being said, I have left that life behind me.  I think it comes from being an entertainer that you always need to feel wanted or needed.  But it's also a sign of immaturity.  It took me a long time to be at peace with me and to let go of the people and the places that are not good fits.  As they say, more appropriately with people, you have to move on from someone without expecting it to change their mind, otherwise you're not moving on.  You're pretending to move on but looking back the entire time, making yourself worse off than before.  That's a hard pill to swallow.

The Mad Tea Party has always been one of my favorite parts of Alice in Wonderland because it reminds me to be more open minded.  How fun and crazy are the Hatter and the Hare?  But because they are so different, Alice gets frustrated and leaves.  But I think a part of her knows that although they are fun, they are not helping her get where she needs to be.  Woah, I just had an epiphany as I typed that!  How hard is it to really leave people that we love and adore when they are holding us back from where we are going?  Maybe not even intentionally but with them we stay in a stagnant place with a false happiness.  I for one want to take everyone with me on my journey through Wonderland but I know I can't.  Sometimes it's so hard to decipher who belongs and who you have to leave behind.  When you're such a loving person, it's hard to justify removing someone from your life.  You have so much love to give to everyone whether they want it or not.  But ultimately, if they don't return it, you're draining yourself to make someone else happy.  

Anywhoooooo, I think I'll end on that note because this could get deeper than I'm willing to go right now in a blog :p  But I'll leave today by saying, it's acceptable to leave the places that are keeping you from where you need to be.  But leave knowing that you will be better off, not because you hope that you will leave an impression and change where you have been.  Never look back because you'll miss what's ahead of you.

Love you,
Kimberly

Alice thought to herself "I don't see how he can ever finish, if he doesn't begin."

Last night I had the pleasure of going to see Avengers: Age of Ultron early with a friend of mine and one of the Executive Producers gave a little speech before the movie began.  Her speech was humorous but also very inspiring.  She told us all to not only follow our dreams but always do what we're passionate about.  Because if you're passionate about something and you're not doing it, then a part of you is dying.  She went on to say that too many people use excuses why they can't do what they're passionate about right now and how they will one day...

For me, if I'm not creating, I'm lost.  If I don't have a script to dive into and a character to fill then I'm nothing.  The main reason I'm making my own web series and films is because it's so hard to be seen and to get a foot in the door out here.  That and I'm very impatient, I've said that before.  So instead of waiting and working hard to get that role that will make all the difference, I'm working smarter and giving myself the projects that will make me thrive!  

Don't get me wrong, this is not a brag fest.  It hit me hard when she said last night that people make excuses and talk about how "one day" they'll make it.  But these same people are doing nothing to make their dreams happen!  I see these people everywhere!  One day I'll be famous, one day I'll be rich, one day I'll get out of debt, one day I'll be skinny...but what are these people doing TODAY to change anything?  Most of them nothing.  And it's frustrating when you know that they deserve better and really want them to live up to their full potential. 

So I love this quote because you can never finish if you don't begin.  And I will no longer say that "one day I'll make it" hoping that something will come along because I am making those things come along.  And I WILL make it.  So if this blog can do anything for you today, I really hope it inspires you to make a choice to stop procrastinating when it comes to your passions and dreams.  Change doesn't happen overnight but it also doesn't happen without a first step.  So whatever it is that you're putting off or waiting for some miracle to bring to you, start it now!  Go begin writing that script, start putting money into a savings account, go walk for an hour, do anything you can but start it now.  No one else is going to make your dreams happen for you and you won't get there if you don't start now.

The difference between a dreamer and a visionary is action.

Love you!
Kimberly 

You would have to be half mad to dream me up.

I sometimes wonder if what goes on in my head is anything near what goes on in others' heads.  I've noticed that I am motivated and happiest when I am faced with a challenge.  I think sometimes I even find ways to make simple things challenging so I can have more fun with them.

If you had asked me two years ago what I'd be doing this Summer, I can promise you that producing a film would not have been my response!  My impatience and desire to control my career have finally collided and it's brilliant!  I can tell you that it's going to be difficult but so exciting!  My newest challenge with the film might be biting off more than I can chew but I'm ready for it.  It's funny because people see me as a strong, capable person which I definitely am, but those closest to me know that I have different personalities when faced with a challenge.  I let it tear me down before I even face it.  It's like I have to get all of the possibility of failure out of my system before I decide to succeed and charge through at full force.  I'm a bit of an enigma and sometimes I fascinate myself.  It might make me a little delusional but why be hindered by the idea of failure?  It's not an option if you want to succeed.  

Oh, did I mention I'm also an over sharer?  Obviously.  I am the most open book you will ever meet!  I just don't keep things to myself.  There's way too much going on and progressing in my mind to keep anything inside.  I'm sure there's some mystery to me somewhere but I feel better when people know everything about me.  Unless I don't know you then you get nothing from me.  Ha!  I might need to work on that but oh well!  

God was a little crazy when He made me but I'm so thankful He made me the way I am.  I can't imagine being anyone else and I'm so grateful.  I love my life and can't wait to really be something that others can be motivate by.  I can promise you that everything happening right now is just the beginning.  My best quality is my persistence.  I will never quit chasing the white rabbit. 

"It's Better to be Feared than Loved."

Sometimes I really wish I could live by this quote.  I really do.  There's a lesson that everyone has to learn in life and it takes longer for some than others.  I'd like to think that being a good person and helping others will earn you respect but the truth is, some people will never respect you.  Some people will never like you and never treat you the way you deserve to be treated, no matter what you do.  The trick is to not let it affect you or your happiness.

When it's all said and done, you are in control of your happiness.  The world is going to keep turning and people are going to react to you based on what's going on inside their own heads.  Keep doing the things that make you happy and being the person you know you're supposed to be.  Some people will love and support you no matter what you do, others will belittle you out of their own jealousy.  So why should that bother you?  Because it's human nature.  We want everyone to love and respect us but it'll only kill us if that's what our happiness is based on.

This has always been a big problem for me.  But the nice thing is, I'm aware of it!  YEAH!  That's always the first step, recognizing the problem.  So I'm focusing on shaking off all of the hate and the jealousy that comes at me.  Because it's trying to keep me down and I can't let it!  I'm on the path to much bigger things and I'm not stopping.  So if there's anything I can say to you today to help you or inspire you to live a better life and be a happier person, it's to never let anyone else bring you down!

Keep your head up.  Let them fear you because of your ambition and drive.  Who knows, one day they just might love you for it!

Love, 
Kimberly 

It would be so nice if something made sense for a change.

There's a funny thing that happens when you're an actress or an actor where you get a role that enables you to so completely lose yourself that you begin to really wonder who you are anymore.  Things and thoughts that once made sense to you in reality begin to be foreign.  Nothing in your real life makes sense anymore because that's not your life; your life has changed to the life of the character.

Yes, for us characters have lives.  They are not just words on a page but living, breathing people that make choices, have jobs, relationships, problems of their own.  And if we're lucky and we work hard enough, we are blessed with a role that allows us to escape our own reality and live the reality of someone else.  Even if just for a brief moment, it is invigorating.  It is what keeps me going.  To know that I can live hundreds of different lives or even just experience life through the eyes of someone else, how cool is that?!  I'll tell you it really makes you grateful for the life that you are blessed to lead.

I know I am a different breed of person.  I am passionate about my dreams.  I am persistent and dedicated to my goals.  This is what I was born to do.  I know it's not for everyone but I am thankful for everyone that is supportive of me.  Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to live a standard life.  I hesitate to use the word normal because what is normal?  Everyone has a different definition.  I think I'm normal but I'm definitely not average!  

Anywho, my mind is racing and my thoughts are getting jumbled.  I guess this quote really does fit today then because right now, nothing really makes sense to me!  But I know amazing things are happening so thank you for your support and keeping me moving forward!  And sorry again that my Kickstarter has kept me away.  Until it ends I think my blogs will only be every other week so thanks for still reading them!

And of course, if you haven't pledged yet, go to beachwooddrivefilm.com and make a pledge to my film Beachwood Drive!  Those roles that we can't wait to play and get to lose ourselves in if we're lucky...mine is in this film!  So please pledge support now so we can hit our goal and I can keep doing what I was born to do!  And yes I said PLEDGE!  Until we hit our goal, no money is taken and nothing comes to us.  So if you do support me and my career, pledge now.  And thank you in advance for being in my life!

Love,

Kimberly Westbrook  

In another moment down went Alice after it, never once considering how in the world she was to get out again.

Well this week has been surprising to say the least.  I have to apologize for my absence last week but we had a TON of planning for our Kickstarter launch.  It's funny though because it's only been a week and I really do feel like I'm falling down a rabbit hole of craziness!  

It's brilliant!  In a week we've passed $9,000 which is almost 20% of our goal.  Idk if you've ever run a Crowdfunding campaign but it is a lot of work!  It's exciting, scary and somewhat fun but every day is a new adventure.  A lot of people are very supportive but a lot of people just stop talking to you.

I can't let it bother me though because this is what I have to do.  I have to make films.  Hollywood is a hard world to break into unless you have perseverance and determination.  And even then you have to come up with crazy projects and jump through a million hoops to keep them and make them happen.

So I'm jumping through the hoops and getting a film made.  If I haven't said enough, thank you for your continued support.  I know a lot of you are watching this campaign to see what happens.  I hope and pray that you'll support me in my endeavors like you always have.  This world is a crazy one and I'm past the point of getting out.  The truth is, I don't want out.  I belong in front of the camera.  So thank you for helping me make it happen!  In case you haven't looked into the campaign, the link is beachwooddrivefilm.com  You know the drill by now, click it and support with your pledge.  And bless you for having faith in me and my career :)

Love and blessings to you,
Kimberly Westbrook

It's a poor sort of memory that only works backwards.

I honestly have no idea how this quote has eluded me for so long but I love it!  On top of that it seems to fit right into my theme lately of being imaginative, breaking out of the norm and trying new things!

I love this quote so much because it really can be looked at from two very different, very valid points of view.  On the one hand, it speaks to never learning from our past.  The mistakes that we make in the past should always influence our future unless we want to make them again!

The way I want to look at this however, is for its call to change your future from what your past is holding you to!  Our memory works backwards because we can't make memories from something we have yet to experience.  But our memories are there to guide us into a brighter future, aren't they?  You can't change the past by dwelling on it.  You can't change the good or the bad things that have happened so why do it?

Because if our memories worked forwards for us instead of backwards...then they can't hold us back from what's to come!  Too many times we let opportunities pass us by because of our memories.  We don't take that grand adventure or go down that uncharted path because of the memories from the last time we tried.  But each new adventure is different.  And if we're smart, we learn from it and embrace the memories for what they are, products of that past.  They're not there to keep us from moving forward to a better tomorrow!  They're there to remind us of the lessons we already learned and guide us to be successful the next time!

I love this book the more I blog from it.  It inspires me to be so much more imaginative and adventurous than I ever could have imagined possible.  I'm finally thinking outside the box and looking forward to an exciting future.  I hope you've enjoyed it so far and I look forward to bringing you more entertainment!

...so many out-of-the-way things had happened lately, that Alice had begun to think that very few things indeed were really impossible.

Some of my favorite blog entries are the ones I don't even know I'm going to write until I find a new Alice quote.  And this one once again jumped off the page!

Can you imagine the things that we could achieve if we had no doubt?  If we gave no mind to anything being impossible, what could we truly do?  I love the way my mind is changing.  I can't tell you how thrilling it is to instead of facing new decisions with why something won't work, instead thinking how we can make it work!  

I am on such a high from this weekend.  I got to experience another amazing message at Mosaic and spend time with some amazing women for brunch!  God is doing so much and changing so much in my life that I just can't keep it all in!  I want to share this newness in me with the world!  Everything really is possible with God and if you're waiting around for Him to make things happen, look at your decisions and your life and see if you are not ignoring the signs and the paths He has placed for you to get there!

I'm telling you, last year I got tired of waiting.  I got tired of wishing something would change and waiting for someone to come along and make my dreams happen.  God made me a very capable, strong woman.  For some reason it has taken me until now to realize that.  He has given me everything I need to create the life I want, I just chose not to see it.  I implore you today, this wonderful Monday, to start making whatever you are waiting for happen now!  You were created with the ability to be great, amazing, unstoppable!  So why are you stopping yourself?  Why have I always stopped myself from doing everything I could ever imagine?  Because of the idea of the " impossible."  

Well, from now on, nothing is impossible.  So GO!  

Love and blessings, 
Kimberly

How puzzling all these changes are! I'm never sure what I'm going to be, from one minute to another.

OH MY!  What a week it has been!  So much has gone on that I am just bursting with excitement!  I almost feel as though I'm a completely different person!

We are three weeks away from our Kickastarter campaign for Beachwood Drive!  This past weekend was host of an awesome and very productive meeting for our team.  I can't tell you how blessed I am to have so much support in fulfilling my dreams.  Not to mention I am so charged and driven knowing that so many people have faith in me to bring it all t fruition.  I guess it could be intimidating but I'm ready for it all!

If you haven't gone to Facebook and liked us, please DO!  We will have so many updates, events and specials running throughout the campaign that you won't want to miss out on them!  beachwooddrivefilm.com  

Not to mention that my web series Directions from Here will air its first episode NEXT WEEK!  And I'll being filming Guys' Night the week after that.  I promise more details to come but for now, here's the Directions from Here YouTube Channel!  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCXKh9jMS0BipEqcVo4-tvw

I've also become a Brand Partner for Nerium International.  This surprises me more than anything because I've never considered myself much of a sales person but I guess when you believe in something, it sort of just sells itself.  I'm hoping this will be the answer to my prayers to get out of waiting tables and finally have the freedom to keep producing more and more films!  

I've always said I never liked being a producer but just knowing that I can have the freedom to create work without someone else's permission, take scripts that speak to me, make the dreams and ideas of my friends reality...it's well, exciting!  But it's all a step at a time.  My thoughts are expanding and my horizons are reaching further and further.  I hope you're as excited as I am for things to come!

Lots of love,
Kimberly

Imagination is the only weapon in the war against reality.

I think this quote is so fitting, not only because it's Martin Luther King, Jr day but just because of what's ahead for me personally.  I don't have to give you a history lesson about what Dr. King did but I will say that he had an imagination.  He envisioned a world to come that few others could see or ever wanted to realize as a possibility because their reality was so different and a lot less promising.

He had faith.  Faith to take a step on an unknown path because it only takes one step to begin a journey.  And without that first step, the journey can never happen.  It's inspiring.  Mostly because this year for me is a year of taking chances and stepping out towards new, unexplored paths.  I'm afraid and sure I could let that fear overtake me and rule my judgement but then where would I be?  I would be stuck in the same place that I have been and never get anywhere.  

Or I could turn that fear of failure into excitement to experience what lies ahead.  You don't fail when you fall down, you fail by not getting back up and trying again.  Or you fail by not trying at all!  

I don't fear failure anymore because I have come to the realization that I really have nothing to lose but everything to gain!  So I'll let my imagination guide me because right now I imagine what it will be like on a fully financed film set, working with other actors and a director to creating something awesome.  My imagination is what will win this war against my reality because I know it's a reality that will come true.  I have the ability to make these things happen but it takes that first step and a crazy imagination!  

In 29 days, my team and I will launch a Kickstarter campaign for our film Beachwood Drive.  If you haven't seen it yet, check out our Facebook page and like it!  We'll be posting a lot the next few weeks and sharing images, sketches and a concept trailer.  This film is my imagination exploding into reality and I want you all to be apart of the thrilling ride!

beachwooddrivefilm.com

Love, 

Kimberly

"I don't think..." said Alice. "Then you shouldn't talk" said the Hatter.

Yep, I'm going there this week.  Because for me yesterday was fun!  I say fun with the utmost sarcasm.  My team lost a big playoff game and immediately everyone had their own opinion about the game...and most of them were negative reactions towards my team.

I totally understand, it's all fun and games.  In fact it is a game!  But how often do we get online, throw stuff up on our Facebook and Twitter without really thinking about it first?  Especially about stuff way more serious than a football game?

Take two of the top issues in the world currently trending online: racism in America and the Muslim attack in France.  The out pouring of hate and misunderstanding online over these things is astounding.  People use events like these to excuse the fact that what they have to say is rude, generalized and most of the time not based in any truth.   And just because your say "you're not a racist but..." doesn't excuse everything you're about to say.

I'm not saying everyone should be censored or that no one should have a voice.  Absolutely not!  And I'm definitely not saying that there are not bad people in the world.  But not everyone is the same either.  What I am saying is think about the people that see the things you post.  Think about the friends and family that have been with you and supported you your entire life that you are about to alienate because you didn't think that post was that bad or you didn't know how someone else would take it.

Abraham Lincoln said it best: "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt."  I had to unfollow a lot of people this week because of the uninformed, harmful things they were posting that affected me and people I love.  I'd say I'm sorry but I don't have tolerance or room in my life for negative hateful people.  So just think...before it's too late.

"You used to be much more... muchier. You've lost your muchness."

This just about sums it all up.  I've lost my muchness and I have to get it back!

I took a week off from this blog for the New Year because the New Year for me is always my most down time.  I just don't like New Year's.  For me it's always been a time of looking back and focusing on what went wrong or didn't happen in the past and being so sure that the next year will be different.  Idk, for me it's always felt like fake optimism.  

And I don't mean to discredit anyone that loves the New Year and genuinely feels like it brings hope and change.  For some people it does but for me it really is just another day.  But this year, I'm making the New Year something different.  This year I'm making this year the year I get my muchness back.

This year I am changing my outlook on everything.  Lately this industry has torn me down and really made me question what I'm doing to the point where I've let a lot of negative voices control my thoughts and actions.  This has caused me to be unhappy and really bitter, ultimately taking away all of the joy I have in doing what I do.  So I'm choosing, because I can do that, to no longer allow these negative voices in my head.  

The funny thing is, I didn't move to LA to get famous.  I moved here to make my career a reality and work as an actress.  But there's a misconception that if you aren't making big budget films or getting paid a ton of money then you're not really an actor/actress.  I'm an actress because I act.  I get the chance this year to do some really great things and create web series, shorts and films with my friends!  Not because I'm going to get a lot of money for doing them but because that's what I came out here to do!  And I'm doing it!

Just putting it in writing is giving me chills because I have so missed my muchness!  I can't wait to really get this year going and change everything that I've let become of me over the past couple of years.  It's really exciting to know that change is going to happen for the better.  I don't know how it will all turn out but I'm sure it's going to be fun!  Until next week...Happy New Year!

Go get your muchness back too!