"There is a place like no place on earth. A land full of wonder, mystery and danger...

...Some say to survive, you need to be as mad as a hatter.  Which luckily I am."

I'm home!  And this wonderful mystery land is most definitely my parents' house in Texas.  Or even Texas itself!  Yes, everyone from Texas loves Texas and we do all believe that it's the greatest place on earth and definitely the best state.  That is just how proud we are!

I have to say Christmas at home is my favorite time of year.  My mother is amazingly creative and decorates trees all over the house.  This year there are 12 and they are gorgeous!  The walls are covered in golds, blues, greens and silver!  There are nutcrackers, santas, snowmen and yes, nativities all over the place!  My brothers and I joke every year that when we go to sleep the nutcrackers and the santas actually wage war because there are that many.  And although it sound like it could be a cluttered mess, anyone who has seen my pictures from past years knows it's definitely not.  My Mom creates art with decorations.

The best part about this wondrous land is the time I get to spend with my family.  Although there is the danger of our butting heads, I love seeing my brothers again.  Now that two of them are married, I get two sisters to be with as well as a nephew that is the BEST!  Plus it's the only time I get to watch football with my Dad!  The house is so full of people and Christmas that it really is enough to drive a person insane.  Lucky for me, I'm already quite bonkers!

So to all of you, thank you for taking the time to catch up with me again this week!  I hope you have a wonderful holiday season with your family and loved ones.  I hope that God showers you with countless blessings.  And don't worry there will be plenty of pictures posted to facebook this week for you to see the madness that I call home.  Until next week...

Merry Christmas!   

That's the reason they're called lessons, because they lessen from day to day.

Well there's less than a week before I go home for Christmas and this week is shaping up to be a very difficult one.  I'll be very honest with you that this post is later than usual because my thoughts and words are very calculated right now.  That being said, I blog to get things out instead of keeping them in so here goes.

The past is a difficult thing to process.  They say hindsight is 20/20 and that's mostly true.  Learning from the past is easy except that sometimes we really don't.  We learn lessons and make mistakes in the past that we hope will not haunt us in the future but they do.  They almost always do.  And on top of that, we think that we learn from the mistakes we make and decide to never hurt the people we love like we may have done in the past but it never fails that we do it again from habit and don't realize it until it's too late.

I'm not a perfect person.  I never have claimed to be and never would.  I love God and follow Jesus but I'm still human.  I try to live my life in a justified way but I make a lot of mistakes.  And I pray to God when I make those mistakes that I can be forgiven and forgive myself and move on.  And even though I learn my lessons of the past, I'm only human when I make mistakes again because the situations look different but at the core are the same.

I really don't know what to say without saying too much other than the past is the past.  And I'm deciding today to let it go.  In the style of Elsa, I am letting it go because I have to.  I am ridding myself of my negative past and starting fresh with a new, positive outlook.  I am forgiving those who have wronged me whether they forgive me or not.  I am letting go of my pride and choosing instead to love because happiness is the ultimate importance.  I can't speak for everyone but I can make this choice for myself.

So I am deciding today to learn from the lessons of my past and not let them lessen from day to day.  Otherwise, what am I really doing instead of going around in a circle that leads to no where but unhappiness.  

See you next week!
Love, Kimberly

Begin at the beginning and go on till you come to the end: then stop.

I love that you can see something or in this instance read something over and over again then one day it jumps out at you like it's completely new.  That's what this quote did to me today...as they most always do when I go to write.

As I've said before, I'm a slightly impatient person so the idea of waiting for something to happen instead of when I'm ready for it to happen is soooooo frustrating to me.  But I'm getting better, I hope!  So I've spent this morning writing emails and planning stuff for Beachwood Drive.  By now you know that is the film that my friend and I will be campaigning for in February, then filming around May.  But we are still in the development stage and all I can think is how I wish this was all done and we were filming.  It would be so much more fun to be on set, acting and creating instead of sending out emails and trying to build my team.

But you can't just jump into the middle of anything, now can you?  Not if you ever want to be successful.  Plus everything is a lesson.  So if I'm to learn how to do this and be successful at it, I have to start at the beginning and work my way through the grunt work so I can get to the fun part later.  

Of course once I get there, I won't be stopping.  It will only push me to do it again and that's the ultimate goal for me.  If I can make films on my own for the rest of my life, I'd be so happy.  

I just love it when a lesson like that smacks you in the face.  So the next time you're feeling like something isn't progressing the way you want, or that you're overwhelmed because road ahead of you seems so long, remember that you always have to start at the beginning before you can get to the end.  

Enjoy the journeys because that is where we learn the lessons!

Love you!

Kimberly

"If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense..."

If I had a world of my own, every day would be Christmas time! Yes, I’m one of those people.  I’m so happy that it’s finally December.  I love this time of year when the weather gets cold, there’s pumpkin spice everything and all of the streets are decorated for the holidays!  Obviously my world would make no sense because you can’t have snowmen year round…or can you??  

I just really love the Christmas season and not just because we get to give each other presents, or everyone runs themselves further in to debt, myself included.  I love it because it’s a time for friends and family.  It’s the time of year where you can relax and enjoy those around you and not worry about all the stress of life that the year has put on you. 

I looooooove the decorations too.  It’s so amazing to see people put their heart and soul into creating beautiful art that they don’t get to make the rest of the year.  I am most definitely my mother’s daughter because I go all out for Christmas!  It’s so nostalgic for me to be surrounded by Christmas decorations during this month and I love it!  I wish I could have it year round!  In fact we have discussed having a Christmas house and a non-Christmas house all year round so we could move back and forth between the two whenever we wanted :)  “We” being my mom and I!  But of course that would be silly…or amazing.   And I’m sure eventually I would appreciate the season a lot less if it were around all year. 

But let’s not forget what we’re really celebrating.  God’s son, our Savior Jesus Christ was born on Christmas so that we could be forgiven of our sins.  I can’t even imagine the amount of love that would have to be felt to send your only son as a savior.  So remember to be thankful for the blessings you have, even if they’re not the blessings you want.  Love each other this season, and by each other I mean everyone, even people you don’t know.  I read a great quote that said “always be kind because every man is fighting a battle that you know nothing about.”  Let’s think less of ourselves this season, stop worrying about what you are entitled to and think about how you can be a blessing to others.  It feels a lot better to give to others than it does to receive.

Merry Christmas!

Curiouser and Curiouser

Well as you may have noticed, I am veeeeery late to getting this week out.  I promise with good reason.  Sunday I gave myself whiplash...don't ask, so yesterday I was stuck in bed not being able to move then this morning the alternator in my car went out.  SO needless to say this week has been curiouser and curiouser!  But on with the show!

It's Thanksgiving!  And I am so thankful for so many things in my life!  But instead of making this blog about all of the things that are going right in my life, I'm going to tell you why I'm so thankful for all of the things that are going wrong... Where to begin...

I'm thankful for my job.  I hate my job.  I actually really like the company I work for but I detest my job.  I love the people I work with but let's break it down here.  My job consists of working harder than what my pay should require to end up begging people for money in the end because I survive off of tips.  But I'm thankful for this job.  I'm thankful because if I were working a job where I was making a comfortable wage, I would have no motivation to work hard to move my acting career forward.  And I am so motivated to succeed!  So I am thankful.

I'm thankful for my butt.  I hate my butt!  But I'm so thankful for it because no matter what I do it gets attention.  And not just from people wanting to hit on me but from people who genuinely want to compliment me.  It's so big it actually makes my waist look even smaller.  People tell me every day how beautiful my figure is and I'm thankful that it makes me stand out...but I hate it.  

I'm thankful for my friends.  Most of the time they don't want to talk to me because I'm loud and I'm very open about my feelings.  For some reason or another they stick around and I love them so much for their love and support.

I'm thankful for my family.  I love my parents for raising me not to be a perfectionist but to be proud of myself and to live a life that I can be proud of.  This is the end has made me a perfectionist which causes me to be obsessive but at least I care enough to do things right.  And my brothers suck!  They're such perfect examples of what men should be and how to live that they make me so sick and so proud at the same time.  I love them so much but can't measure up to them.

And I'm thankful for you!  You are reading this blog about me and my life when you could be doing something else waaaaay more exciting.  You have no idea what it is to know that someone else cares about your life and wants to know more about you.  I live to entertain people and I am so thankful that you are so willing to let me entertain you, whether in my weekly blogs or on your tv screen.  So thank you so much for letting me do what I do!

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Kimberly

"How long is forever?" Alice asked. The white rabbit replied, "Sometimes just a second."

This week has been a very eventful one for me and Friday this quote jumped out at me to write about.  Everyone always says time flies or where did the time go but it does seriously get lost faster than we plan.  

I lost a friend from High School this week.  I don't know if he thought I considered him a friend or not but he was definitely a source of fondness from the past.  He will forever be our Super Sophomore.  And it really shook me because no matter how much you think you understand life, you still think that everyone around you is going to live forever.  And for someone to be gone so soon, well I just wasn't ready.  And I don't think I'm handling it very well.  So for those of you really close to me, get ready to be smothered with love because that's what I do.  I lash out in love!

I also finally ran my Avengers half marathon this week.  Today my legs are fighting with me to even function.  But I felt like this day would never come when I signed up for it.  It seemed like forever away but the time and training went by so fast!  I'm excited that it's over but now I'm definitely anxious for the next thing.  I always need something next to work towards.  I guess I technically already have the next thing to focus my time on...our feature film Beachwood Drive.  And thinking about how fast February is going to get here is both exciting and frightening!  

So I'll wrap this up by saying, I'm not much of a procrastinator but I am being conscious of when I do procrastinate in order to avoid it.  Time is so precious and it really does need to be spent well.  Life is so short and it's so important to make the best of every moment.  So live, laugh, love...that's the saying right?  I have some movie planning to get going on!  I hope you have some big plans for yourself too!

Check out my new video blog with my friend Ben Davies.  We should be posting new videos weekly! 
Ben & Kim Faith in Entertainment

And please keep the Beaty family from Huntsville,TX in your hearts and prayers!  
Until next week...love you!!

Every adventure requires a first step.

I always think that I like adventures more than I actually do.  In fact the idea of an adventure gives me a little bit of anxiety because I'm very type A and like to have all the facts before jumping into anything I do.  So really I'm not an adventurous person at all, although I'm getting better at it.

I do like the outcome of adventures, the stories, the experiences, etc.  My problem is that I'm such a planner!  I like planning things out and knowing how things will turn out in the end so I can be prepared.  But planning something out kind of takes away from it being an adventure.  And let's be honest, no matter how much you plan, there will always be something that doesn't go exactly how you thought it would.  

And on top of that, the more you try to plan an adventure, the more you come across potential problems that could keep you from having the adventure!  So the more you try to avoid these issues, the less and less exciting the adventure becomes making it less likely to ever happen!  If you spend too much time planning, you'll never take the first step.

This year I've had quite a few adventures and next year I know there will be a lot more.  I can honestly say that I've pushed myself to do more this year than I ever thought I'd be capable of doing.  Don't get me wrong, I attribute that to some really great people that helped me and I'm grateful for them.  And I know next year I will be able to do even more, we will be able to do even more!  I like that I'm learning to let go of plans and just let things around me and people around me fall into place.  Unfortunately they don't always fall where I'd like them to and I guess not everyone is going to be willing to come along with me for every adventure I'll take.  Does that mean I'm supposed to give up these adventures?  Nope!  Not all of my adventures will be the same as everyone else's. 

But why should I worry when I'm never the one in control anyway?  I need to be more willing to follow my heart and grab opportunities when they come my way instead of worrying about what could go wrong.  I mean, when God provides, who am I to question it?  Because what could go wrong could go completely right!  An how exciting is that?!  So I'm taking first steps...a lot of them!  And I hope for your sake that you do too...  :)

You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are.

It’s so funny to me how the people I admire most in this world are the ones that took chances to stand out and be different from the crowd.  I love people that break out of the norm, specifically in entertainment.  Yet when I try to do it myself, I get worried about breaking some kind of mold that I’m supposed to form to.  I’ve always been a stickler for doing things “right.” All As, follow the rules, etc.  I wouldn’t say I’m boring but in acting, doing things the “right” way is boring and doesn’t get you noticed.  It’s the crazy ones that succeed!

Take for instance Helena Bonham Carter and Robert Downey Jr.  I love watching their work because they are so unpredictable and they’re exciting to watch!  And I want that!  I want people to be so excited to watch me because they have no idea what to expect.  Of course, I have to balance that out with truth so that you can believe that I’m a real person.  Many of you may not know all of the levels of thought involved in being an actor, but this is why we are crazy!  We have to figure out how to be outlandish and so unreal but still seem real so you invest in us enough to come back for more!  Honestly, how many times have you asked your friends “did I seem like I was real then?” 

So here is my utter predicament, how do I break out of my shell that I’ve lived in for so many years?  It’s like two sides of me are at war to seem normal and put together or to be free, wild and exciting in everything that I do.  It’s Producer Kim vs Actor Kim and I don’t know who will win!  Ha ha!  I guess the fact that I have two sides at war already makes me a little crazy!  So yeah, I’m on my way to certified bonkers!  I’m working on it though.  I got a pet rabbit and named her Follow (the white rabbit) and I am running an Avengers themed half marathon in two weeks so there’s that.  I’ll be excitingly crazy before you know it and hopefully you all will love watching my insanity bloom! 

Shameless plug:  Oh, before I forget, I have a video blog starting very soon called Ben & Kim Faith in Entertainment with actor Ben Davies that will post weekly on https://www.youtube.com/user/Ben1010101010

Here’s a teaser video to fill you in so you can participate with us!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7t2UEY_HnTE&list=PL-3mxdbQGGHsaXn6ZwzPcwkGiApq4xJtn&index=2

Until next week…

You won't make yourself a bit realler by crying...there's nothing to cry about.

This post might honestly be harder for me than I’d hoped for but I guess c’est la vie.  That’s life.  I have always loved Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee, not really sure why but I have.  And this particular quote struck me extra hard today so I figured I have to write about it.

It’s funny how no matter how old I get or how mature I think I am, there are still certain faults that are hard for me to break.  I am super emotional and on top of that extremely extroverted.  I don’t keep things to myself very often so when I have something on my mind or something is bothering me, I have to tell someone…or everyone.  I’m terrible at keeping secrets or surprises.  I mean, I’m blogging about my emotions right now for anyone who wants to read about them!  And I guess the reason I like to share my emotions is because the more I share, the more I think people will understand where I’m coming from, how I really feel…make myself seem like more of a real person.  Because when I keep my emotions in, I feel set apart from everyone else and no one understands me.  So I share and I emote and I cry to make myself seem more real to others.

The sad thing is it often has the opposite effect.  I share too much and people around me get overwhelmed.  They leave or they push me away because they don’t feel the same or just don’t know how to deal with all of me.  

But what I’m learning is that it’s not a fault that I have to fix.  It’s the way I was created.  It's just me being me.  And in life there will be a LOT of people that will not be able to take all of you as you are, and that’s ok.  Those people are not meant to stay in your life.  You take the lessons you were meant to learn and you move on.  It's hard and it hurts but it's the truth.  

So, no crying won't make me more real and in the end, there really isn't anything to cry about, but sometimes it's just what I need to do.  So thank you God for making me the way I am and thank you to my friends who stick by me through all of my emotional roller-coasters.   

My dear, here we must run as fast as we can, just to stay in place. And if you wish to go anywhere you must run twice as fast as that.

I actually laughed out loud when I came across this quote from the White Queen.  I was trying to figure out what I could possible tell you about this week because for me it's been a rather relax one.  But thinking about it, that's not true at all!  We filmed last Sunday, had another production meeting for the feature film, plus class, auditions, work and oh not to mention Disneyland...I've actually been pretty busy!

It's so funny how you can learn to manage so many things at once that it feels like you're not doing much of anything at all.  I do feel like in my life I have to keep running as fast as I can to maintain where I am.  That's the business out here, constantly running, moving and staying ahead of the curve.  So much so that staying on the curve feels like you're taking it easy.  But of course, as the White Queen points out, if you want to get anywhere you have to run twice as fast.  And it's so hard!

I mean think about it, in order to get anywhere you basically have to push harder than you are physically able to do.  It's a wonder that everyone out here doesn't give up because it really takes a lot out of you.  You have to always stay positive and creative and be super resourceful (because there's no money in it until you book something) all the while taking constant criticism and rejection.  Thank God for God!  Seriously!  I must be absolutely insane to keep wanting to do this...but I do!  I love the challenge.  I love making people smile and laugh!  And it takes a lot of my strength to run twice as fast to get there!  How do you get strength when you have none to go on..."He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak" Isaiah 40:29.  Yep.  Yep.  

So I'm out to keep running.  Work, class and rehearsal tonight, three meetings and a workshop tomorrow...maybe somewhere I'll squeeze in a social life.  Ha ha!

Love you!!

Kimberly 

Only a few find the way, some don't recognize it when they do - some... don't ever want to

"Only a few find the way, some don't recognize it when they do - some... don't ever want to."

I had to say it again because it’s such a good quote that I know everyone can relate to.  Isn't it funny how everyone wants more and expects more for their life yet no one really wants to put in the time, effort and work to make this better life happen?  And even when we do put the effort into a better life, new roads appear and doorways open that we didn't really want or expect.  So we avoid them, thinking that the path we planned  is the one we want even though God is trying to show us it's not the best life for us.  

 I know this has always been a big set back for me.  I know I am meant for better things but I have such an issue with planning.  I love having things on a set schedule and knowing what's coming next.  My friends will tell you, when things don't go as I plan, my whole world falls apart even if just for a minute until I can replan out the situation.  I guess I feel comfortable when I can control things.  But I can't!  I am never the one in control!  He is.  So why would I ever be so naive to think that I can control where my life is supposed to go?

Yes, I obviously have drive and passions that are essential to who I am, but just because I want my life to be one way doesn't mean that is how God planned it.  For instance, I don't like producing.  I never wanted to be a producer.  I think I have a tendency to need too many details which can be controlling and it affects friendships and professional relationships I have.  So I don't want to do it. I want to build my career by booking roles, being seen and eventually building my way up to getting my own show.  But the traditional way is taking a lot longer than I have the patience for.  And the industry is changing so much that it's a lot harder to succeed that way.  Plus, like I said, I'm a planner and I'm good with numbers.  You know what kinds of industry people plan and are good with numbers...producers.  

And there's nothing wrong with producing!  I just know for me, there's a lot of personal change that has to come in order for me to be an effective one.  But opportunities keep popping up and people keep reaching out to me to help make projects happen.  Plus I'm in the projects.  It really is exactly what I want.  But I have to produce.  It's a different road than what I had planned for myself.  But isn't it possible that this is a new door that God is opening for me?  And if I'm good at it, why would I not want to develop my skills to be better at it?  Well I am, it's just so funny that it's so not what I ever planned.  But it is leading to my dreams coming true.  And it's so natural for us to fight new opportunities that could be amazing just because it's not what we thought we wanted. 

Some of us may never find the right path because it won't look like the path we envisioned.  Others won't find the right path because they just don't want to and the reasons for that are infinite.  Some people in this world are so free and trust that not only is God in control but the path He has planned out is so much better than anything they could ever have imagined for themselves.  I don't know about you, but I want to be in that last group.  So here's to embracing new and unplanned paths!

Love you guys,
Kimberly

I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.

I think the way we view our past is a little backwards.  We’re definitely supposed to learn from our past but too many people hold on to it as an example to follow to understand the future.  The funny thing is, how many times do situations or plans ever go exactly like they have in the past?  Almost never.  Our past teaches us lessons and makes us smarter but how can we really expect that things will always turn out the same.

For me, I think the past has always held me back.  I’m definitely one of those people that expect things to turn out the same.  I have a tendency to resist change.  Sometimes I still see myself as the chubby, lazy girl that never quite fit in.  But no one else sees or ever saw me that way.  And thinking this way has such a profound effect on my self-esteem that it’s detrimental to future successes.  I have never run a marathon and right now I’m training for a half.  This weekend I had to do an 8 mile run which was scary because I have never actually run that far.  But I did it!  I actually got through it but all the time leading up to it I thought this is going to be so hard!  I’ll never get through it!  But I did!  So why do I think that way?  Why does my brain, instead of looking at the successes I’ve made, and knowing that I can push myself to achieve more, choose to hold on to the negativity of my past?  Why do any of us do this for that matter?

So by saying I can’t go back to yesterday, I am telling the truth.  I can not physically go back to yesterday.  And I don’t want to because yesterday I had surgery on my tooth but for once, I didn’t pass out!  I’m getting better!  Everything is different about me today than it was yesterday so my new goal is to look forward and never backward.  I challenge you to do the same thing.  Learn from your mistakes but keep them in the back of your mind.  You learned those lessons so know that you know them and move on.  Look towards the future and know that you can make it different from your past.

It’s funny that I have been a Christian my entire life and I’m just now starting to really understand the importance of God in my life.  Before it was always like, I had this great power protecting me and watching over me as I walk through the challenges of my life.  But it’s not like that at all.  It’s more like I have a partner going through them with me, a best friend that is by my side the entire time.  As I said earlier I had surgery yesterday and it never fails that if I am dealing with intense pain, I pass out.  And it sucks.  I have passed out so many times in my life and it takes me soooooo long to recover so I was determined to figure out how to avoid it this time!  The Xanax helped some but I decided the entire surgery to stay in prayer.  And I did.  I had such a long conversation with God thanking him for being with me and thanking him for making me the strong person that I have grown to be.  It was incredible.  Not once did my mind go to that place of fear and panic.  And with God there with me, I figured out how to shake my past!

Ok, I think I’ve gone on long enough here.  So I’ll end with saying strive for more than your past.  Expect different outcomes each day.  Expect miracles!  I know I am because God is with me.  Don’t forget I have a movie funding campaign coming up in two weeks and I for one am not looking to my past and expecting to fail.  I know we’ll succeed and I can’t wait to be able to not only make and star in my own film but to really show everyone that if you put your mind to anything, you will succeed!  Don’t forget your past but really, forget your past!

Love,                                                                                                                                                        Kimberly

Sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.

 This quote come from the Alice in Wonderland books and was said by the White Queen.  It’s so great because it expresses the importance of maintaining a good imagination.  Our imagination gives us the ability to leave the world we live in and create one of our own.  We can do things we have never thought possible, go places we have never been and create things no one else could dream of.  Imagination is so important because it inspires us to think outside the box, making the real lives we live more creative!

I have never considered myself an inspiration to others but the last two weeks, I’ve been told by more people than ever before that I’m inspiring.  I’m finding that it’s both a blessing and a burden to be inspirational!  Knowing that others are looking at you as an example to follow puts a huge weight on your shoulders to not disappoint.  I’ve never been ok letting others down so being called an inspiration has given me a new level of accountability.  I have to keep pushing to succeed so that others will know that bringing your dreams to fruition is always possible.  Never give up!

So in three weeks, we’re starting our funding campaign for our feature film, set to begin shooting in February/March.  A lot of people have told me that this is impossible because I’m doing it without studio money but I know it’s not.  I could not be more excited about the strides that we’re making and the feedback I’m getting on the work I’ve put into it.  I can’t wait to not only star in this film that I, of course with the help of my team, have made but just to know that I CAN MAKE A FILM.  New things are happening in Hollywood and more people than ever are making their own material without the studios.  Believe me, it’s a lot of hard work but it’s also so much more freeing to know that you are in control of the decisions being made.  I am in control of my own career and I don’t need anyone else’s permission to do it!

Well, I think I’ve gone on long enough for today.  Keep an eye out for the campaign starting October 21 on Indiegogo for Beachwood Drive.  I’ll be sharing more with you guys about the pre, production and post processes but for now keep imagining!  Imagine anything and everything you can!  Then let your imagination guide you as you follow your dreams, even if you’re following them alone!

Love love love,

Kimberly

Oh dear, I do wish I hadn't cried so much...

I mean I do because I cry… A LOT!  I just always have.  The funny thing is though, for me crying is a way for me to purge.  Little stresses and worries build up and once a month, lately once a week or even a day, I just cry!  I cry to the point where I’m honestly surprised I’m not suffering from dehydration sometimes.  It’s not that I’m crying because I’m scared or I’m sad, I just have to get everything out of my system!  And afterwards, I feel so refreshed and new and ready to get back to being productive! 

Yes I’m sure there are more appropriate ways of dealing with stress but for me, crying just works.  Although I’m pretty sure my managers at work think there is something seriously wrong with me…oh well.  I’m embracing me for me, right?  If after this many years I haven’t learned to let it go, I don’t know if I ever will.  Plus, let’s be honest, I’m just a dramatic person so there you go.  Anywhere else in this world, people would have me committed but here they just shake their heads and say “she’s an actress.”  J

Now sometimes I do lose focus and feel a little lost and those tears definitely come from a different place.  Those tears usually happen on Sunday mornings…and boy did they ever flow this morning!  Today was one of those God smack days where He reminds you that He’s in control and everything is taken care of.  It was like I was being held and reminded that I am safe.  And I felt so ashamed!  I was ashamed that I could have the fears and the worries that I have because I have always been taken care of before.  Why should I now fear that things would be different?  Like I didn’t trust in Him and it broke my heart that I could be so doubtful of His plan for me.  So yep, I cried, no bawled this morning.

So I guess for those of you who have dealt with my outbursts this week, because there were a lot of them, thank you…and I’m sorry.  I’ll try to control the river from my eyes but it’s unlikely.  Maybe I just need to start putting myself on a cry schedule!  Then it won’t interfere with the rest of my life and freak so many people out.  I guess I do have to maintain some level of professionalism around others!  Until then, I’ll continue being Alice because we know she cried over eeeeeeeeverything!  And I love her!  So go cry it out people because its ok!

Love,

Kimberly

I'm not crazy, my reality is just different than yours.

Thank you Cheshire Cat!  I may have just found my new life slogan.   Ha ha!  Brilliant!  But seriously, I know my blogs are all about rants about how LA is soooooo different from everywhere else in the world but why?  Because it’s a land of dreamers?  It’s a place where thousands of people flock every year because they know they’re different from everyone else and they know that this is the one place where they won’t be judged for being different…

Except that’s exactly what happens here.  We’re all judged.  For the clothes we wear, our hair styles, make-up, cars we drive.  You name it, it’s judgeable and judged.  But the people who really succeed out here, are the ones that DON’T CARE!

I’m serious!  It’s an amazing thing and granted it takes a while to realize it.  I’ve been  called crazy a lot in my life…I mean  a LOT and I’m finally to the point where I realize, I’m actually not.  I’m “crazy” because I’m driven, passionate, really care about others and put their happiness before my own. Wow, I think if there were more people like me, the world wouldn’t be such a bad place.   I mean, true everyone would have to be fans of the Cowboys and Longhorns but at least we would find a successful way to make football season a year round thing!

A friend told me earlier this week that I’m wife material.  I’m not sure how I feel about it considering I’m still single but it definitely makes me feel better knowing that I’m considered respectable.  I mean, ultimately it only matters what you think about yourself but it’s nice to know others are on the same page.  And I can only credit my family for teaching me important values growing up.  But good Lord, could you imagine me married with kids?!!  I did once…imagine it that is.  Oh well, when the time is right. 

For now, I guess I’ll keep dancing to the beat of my own drum because that is ultimately how you survive out here.  Make your own music, your own story and get lost in it.  Eventually others will start listening to it and reading along and realize that your crazy is actually a little bit of genius…  So have fun with it.

Love,

Kimberly 

A Very Happy Unbirthday to Me...

Well it’s definitely not my birthday but this weekend marked the 5^th year anniversary of my move to Los Angeles.  Crazy, right?!  Ah, how time flies.  So there wasn’t exactly an official celebration but I guess I did make quite a splash this weekend.

Not to mention, football is back!  Now before you start going on about my QB, for either teams, let me just say, I DON’T CARE!  My teams are my teams and I love them winning or losing (although I do tend to curse a lot more when they’re losing).  But I still love the game and am so ecstatic that it’s back!

So I feel like this week is going to be a very joyous week, even if I have to make it so.  A lot of good stuff is going on around me, including finally starting to train for my half marathon.  Woo hoo!  But I really hate running so the thought of doing it for 3 hours is just really unnerving. 

But no negativity this week!  It’s my Unbirthday week!   And what’s better than staying productive and being positive about all of the blessings that we have in life?  I know, out here is Los Angeles, it’s hard to stay positive.  Especially when it’s the 6^th and the rent check you wrote on the 1^st still might not go through by the end of the day, and you’re working 8 hours at a job you really can’t stand in order to make the rent…I get it!  But at the end of the day, I’m given the opportunity to do some really cool stuff.

I am so thankful for the life I have, even if it’s not where I planned it to be.  I love my friends, you guys know you are so amazing.  I love that there are so many opportunities available to me to help achieve my success.  And I really love the fact that you all reading are right there with me in all of this! 

So again, I’m off until next week…rehearsing, producing, running and tap dancing (yes, I signed up for tap classes).  So with all the love in my heart, enjoy this week and take it as an opportunity to bless others.  Remember that with our tongues we have the ability to bless or curse others.  So have your own Unbirthday week and go have fun!

Lots of Love,   

Kimberly   

...as long as you walk long enough.

I honestly forgot about this little gem until I was looking over quotes from the Alice in Wonderland books.  If you haven't read them, do it.  They're super short but so full of crazy imagination!  

I love this quote though because it speaks volumes to my life and my career.  Alice asks the Cheshire cat for directions, he asks to where and she says I don't care, prompting his response "then any path will take you there." To this she replies "So long as I get somewhere.
The Cheshire Cat: Oh, you're sure to do that, if only you walk long enough"

Mind blown right?  But it's true.  And I swear to you this is the key to pursuing your dreams.  Sticking with it and being persistent long enough.

This week I had a big audition.  It was the first time I went in for this show and I was excited!  I posted on FB and Twitter but I didn't say what the show was...it was Glee!  But I didn't get the part.  And that's ok!  It was still a big victory because I was called in to make an impression on people and open a door for future roles.  

But too often people see this as a failure.  I finally get called in for that show and I didn't get the part!  My career will never take off!  I'm never going to be anything because no one wants me.  The funny thing is, Hollywood is built on relationships.  That's the long path you have to walk before you can really reap the rewards of success.  Relationships don't become strong overnight but too many people get impatient and give up before they really even give themselves a chance!  I got called in and now I've started a new relationship.  Time to build on it! 

So on that note, I'm going to keep walking down the path I'm on and remember that if I walk long enough, I'm going to get there.  Thanks for following me and I hope you're having fun so far ;)

Oh and happy Labor Day!

I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date!

Even as I'm starting this blog, I literally have 10 minutes to get out the door to work.  This past week has been a very busy one and this current one is proving to be the same!  Lately I've felt as though I've been rushing to do everything!  It's not because I'm procrastinating either, there is just a ton going on all of a sudden.  I guess it's both a blessing and a curse but definitely more a blessing.  

Funny thing is, when I rush, I expect that everyone around me will understand and somehow fall in line to do the same.  Of course this never happens and only leads to my biggest problem, impatience. I am soooooo impatient!  And I've tried.  I swear.  I try to be patient and wait for things to pass but I end up losing the battle.  And although I would love to say that I pray and ask God for patience, I definitely do not!  Why?  Because I know exactly what will happen.  He will send me into a ton of situations that will force me to be patient and instead of learning the lessons I've asked him to give me I will only get more and more frustrated.  Yes, I am a five year old in this instant!  

Maybe one day I will learn patience, who knows.  Until then I guess I will just have to realize that forcing things to happen before they're supposed to will never work.  I mean, everything goes by God's timeline anyway, not mine.  

That being said, I'm rushing out again, to a casting workshop...  But don't worry, I'm not late to this one!  Thanks for reading and sorry this one came out late ;)
Until next week...
Kimberly 

No, impassable, nothing's impossible!

Naturally another favorite of mine except that this might be the one quote that drives me!  Because it's true, you can totally do anything you set your mind and attitude to as long as you're willing to work for it.  Nothing comes to those that don't work for it.  God helps those who help themselves, right?  Right!

This week has been a very interesting week to say the least.  I've dealt with a lot of doubt, redirection and rejection but honestly, I only feel more secure that I'm going to succeed.  Those of you who have been keeping up with me know that I'm producing a film and I've spent this week talking to my campaigning mentor and making sure that I get fully trained before I start in on the pre-production funding.  Honestly, it's going to be a lot of work and a lot of phone calls but I gotta say, I'm nothing but full of excitement over it.  And the great thing is, most people I've already talked to about it are excited and confident in knowing that it will come to fruition.  

It's kind of like getting ready to climb Everest for the first time.  You know it's going to take you a while and there's a lot of preparation that goes into it but the idea of conquering such a feat is so exciting.  I mean, I'm not exactly in danger of falling off a cliff or getting lost...or maybe I am!

Any who, I just gotta say that I love my new found confidence in the things I am able to accomplish.  And of course I thank God for putting these dreams in me as well as the strength and the drive to make them happen.  I have a wonderful foundation of people around me that are so supportive and it's amazing.

I guess today's post is just that simple.  Thank you to all of you who have and continue to support me.  You are all amazing and I love you so much!  Don't let anyone discourage you from doing what you were born to do.  God gave you the dreams you have and he gave you the ability to make them happen.  So stop waiting and go do it!

"Well where are you going?"

This is one of my favorite quotes from Alice, mostly because it reminds me that goals are important.  There's a reason people say Los Angeles is full of Lost Angels. People come here to follow their dreams but once they get here, they don't know where to go to make them come true.  I'll admit it isn't easy but I was blessed with really great friends when I moved out here and it has helped a lot!

The sad thing is, Los Angeles is a city where it's easy to coast through life.  I mean, the weather is pretty great 90% of the year, the beach is only at most an hour away, not to mention Disneyland is just right down the 5.  So what if I never make it or ever book a movie role, right?  I live in Los Angeles!  Wrong.

We survive here, we don't live.  It was interesting yesterday in church the speaker (I say speaker because the preacher was in New York for an engagement) said to us, we are here to save a city.  I had honestly never thought of this as my path but it really struck a chord with me.  I mean honestly, why would anyone in their right mind move to LA?  The rent is outrageous, as well as the gas prices.  The cost of living is 2-3 times anywhere else plus the smog and, oh yeah, the EARTHQUAKES!  Why would any intelligent person move here unless it was for a purpose?  Interesting.

Another thing happened that hit hard.  I usually try to write this blog on Sunday night or Monday morning and today I woke up late.  Yeah, I know.  But at work today, I was told that Robin Williams died.  And not just died, but committed suicide.  As an actor that is serious about my craft and my colleagues, this paralyzed me.  Why?  I didn't know him personally so why was I so affected?  Because this is so common out here.  People work so hard to achieve wealth and success but this city can make you feel so alone and so lost.  And for those that don't achieve the success, you're still lost but in paradise.  There is such a need out here for people, REAL people that feel and connect and love; people to really help the lost.  I don't know why he took his life but I know, it's heart breaking and it happens more than it should here.

Now on that note, anyone that knows me can tell you that I love a lot.  I can't tell you how many people that I have opened my heart to and let in just for them to feel safe.  Most of the time they have turned on me, pushed me away or even rejected me yet I continue to do it.  I guess you could say that I really need to get the hint and learn the lesson but for me, I would much rather suffer than to know someone is going through life without feeling loved.  I guess that's the one thing from the bible that I don't have to focus on is loving others.  I got that covered, even if it's not always reciprocated.

I don't know, I think I strayed a little from my original topic.  It's easy to lose focus on your goals when you live in paradise but it's also easy to get lost.  I'm so sorry that we lost such a great actor today but I hope that others will find the paths they're meant to take.  I remember the saying that is painted on the wall in my parents' house "live well, love much, laugh often." I don't know where the quote originally came from but I can say I plan to.  I just might love a little more than I should :)